Losing My Religion

I watched The Butterfly Effect today. I’ve watched it before, with a different ending. I also installed Windows 7 last night. And it amazes me how fast we move as a society. How quickly we progress. Forget. Forgive. Punish. My mind’s in an extreme state of flux. There’s so much happening around me. So many great things. So many powerful changes. I can barely keep up. But I want to. I’ve had this drive to start a paragraph with “The funniest thing…” lately and I can’t seem to suppress the urge.

The funniest thing is that this actually makes me feel better.

And there’s love in space.

It’s a finite race.

But we get there,

on our own time.

Our own rhyme.

The hardest part,

is where to start.

It’s been hard to find muse lately. Maybe it’s writer’s block. That’s wishful thinking. A person can’t write because they don’t want to, not because they can’t. Find something you care about, and you’ll find something to talk about. And that’s me giving advice. About things I barely understand. Things that need no helping hand.

My words are defunct,

this rhyme is broken.

An unrhyme poem

may be better unspoken.

And you keep trying. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? To try? Most of the time. All the time. Never. But it’s difficult. To find something you care about I mean. Sure there’s family. Friends. More-than-friends. Less-than-friends. But you don’t care about those things. They aren’t things you care about. They are things that are part of you. They make you. They break you. What you care about is so very different. What you care about is what you want to become. Not what you are. Not what makes you. Not what breaks you. It’s what you long to be. What you will never get. What will always be beyond you. And that’s the way it should be. They way it’s meant to be.

And she pulls back,


my retorts aren’t usually


Sequences are good. Parallel processing is so very unintuitive. It’s probably why I find it so hard to code for multi-cores. Or maybe it’s just the documentation. Or maybe I just can’t. I hate thinking like that. That I can’t. There shouldn’t be things people can’t do. The Zune media player is pretty great, version 4.0 anyway. The UI has a new section that works like iTunes Genius. It suggests music similar to your favourite songs from your library. It’s such a great idea – I’d never be able to get through all my music on it’s own. Dave Matthews – Rhyme and Reason, right now. I started with The Cranberries – Still I do. Moved onto Coldplay – Trouble, and sifted past Live – I Alone. You tell me if that makes sense.


I see coherence in the not-so-distant future.